Journey to Finding Myself

The journey to finding value within myself has been filled with big decisions and overcoming big hurdles. Your Journey may have been filled with the same and possibly you’re looking to find value in yourself and your life as well. In this post I will explain to you the journey that it took for me to find my value.

Big Decisions To Find My Value

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The month of September was a pretty big one for me. My divorce was finalized. After 20 years of marriage I realized it I had to make some pretty hard, big decisions and overcome some big hurdles. I was able to go to an amazing event to help get my mind right, I co-authored a book with 29 other amazing women and I learned a lot about myself.  I also did something that I have wanted to do ever since I can remember. Hike Flat Iron in the Superstition Mountains. Why after all of that did I not think any of it was important? Why did I not celebrate any of it? Celebrate me for my accomplishments?  Why didn’t I shout it from the rooftops?? AMAZING things!

Was The Answer On The Mountain?

I believe I found out the answer on that mountain. I never really understood why, when I never really was  physically fit, or an athletic type of girl growing up, I have been drawn to that mountain. Until recently. I used to think that it was because the legend of the lost Dutchman’s mine. I have always been drawn to adventure, I thought for sure that if I made it to those mountains that I would be able to find the mine and find the gold. I wasn’t wrong.. it just wasn’t in the way that I expected.

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Most of my life I suffered with low self esteem. The belief that I wasn’t good enough or important enough, that no one would really notice if I just disappeared. That I was my mistakes. Those false believes  showed up in every area of my life. As I was climbing that mountain,  I faced myself dead on. I recently released 150lbs after struggling with weight my whole life and had become pretty athletic. I was in shape…until my divorce. I had stopped exercising during this process as there were some pretty intense moments. I was also working after not working in almost 20 years and to be honest, I was kind of selfish during this process and took a lot of time for me. So when I decided that it was time for me to do this, I hadn’t exercised really in about 3 months. It was extremely hard. I had to fight. Fight not to give up. Not to let the voices in my head win. The voices that said I was overweight, and out of shape. That I wasn’t good enough, that it didn’t really matter if I finished this or not. It wouldn’t make a difference in any body’s life if I did or not. But I was wrong there too. It WOULD have made a difference in some body’s life. It would have made a difference in mine and by association all those I came into contact with. It would have effected my integrity and how I acted and my ability to help and be the example for others.

The Answer WAS On That Mountain.

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How do you feel more valuable?

It was on that mountain that it hit me. I had been looking for something outside of myself to validate me. To make me feel important, to give me my worth. What I didn’t realize was that I had it in me the whole time. It was me…I was the treasure, I was the gold. This post was pretty hard for me to write. The reason I haven’t shared all of this sooner was because I wanted to look good. Look like I had already arrived.  Admitting that I didn’t, would mean I didn’t have it all together. What I realize now is that everyone has challenges…no matter how much they look like they have it all together, AND  all of my challenges, my struggles, my experiences, good and bad, made me what I am today. I can take all those experiences and use them to help others. There is my value. Helping others along this journey we call life. We are all unique and valuable .We are here to leave our unique mark upon this earth. To leave a legacy. Thats is Gold . Always remember YOU are the gold!

So, What are your mountains? I’d love to help you climb whatever hurdles you may be having. Did you like this post? If so, please like, share and comment below with what you like best. I believe in you! Go for the Gold!

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